i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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