I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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