After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
