Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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