I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
whose parrot is this?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
