My nipple is on Facebook.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
