She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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