Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
