i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
