Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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