i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
