I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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