This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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