omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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