It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
