dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
