I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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