Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
