Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize