i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
