Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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