# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
His hands were made for my vagina.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
