Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
