yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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