did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
