How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize