Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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