i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
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I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
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They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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