he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
