Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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