you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
