I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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