what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
