You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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