doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
