i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Fuck appropriateness.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
is wine microwaveable?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
