google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
