2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
