sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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