I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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