whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
and you fell through a lawn chair
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