At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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