isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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