And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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