I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
