I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize