Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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