Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
