Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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