I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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