I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
