dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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