His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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