I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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