Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just tell him i said nine months
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
