"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I did not marry a roomba.
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