I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
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I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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