A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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