So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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