He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
