i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just gargled with NyQuil
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
