Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
