The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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