I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
