i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
